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Retrogrades, Past Healing, and De-Cluttering


Good Morning, Beautiful Spirits!

This was originally supposed to be a podcast but with so many different background noises and thin walls, I decided why not just write it out? Faster, easier, and well, it helps me not look quite as weird. I know the title may sound like this is going to be a LONG post but I'm going to aim for it to be more to the point than my last post, which yes, was incredibly long. I try not to make them lengthy, due to the fact that I personally have a difficult time reading long posts. My attention tends to waver. Therefore, let me tell you the main theme of this post: Healing.

Healing comes in may different manners and on so many different levels which is why I found retrogrades so therapeutic, albeit frustrating. Retrogrades force us out of our normal selves as we're ushered into the internal world, instead of the external. This shakes us out of our comfort zone but it's necessary for our own growth. Quite honestly, how many of us would really willingly delve into those darker recesses of our own being--those habits, beliefs, thoughts, and goals that don't really don't serve our highest good? I have a good hunch that not many of us would. They serve as an external catalyst and so like the caterpillar, we must cocoon ourselves as we go within so that we may emerge renewed and transformed as the majestic and awe-inspiring butterfly.

This ties in with the retrogrades as they force us to turn inward, refocus, reflect, and change. We're forced to encounter those parts of ourselves we purposefully ignore. The situations, habits, etc. that we know are counterproductive but we just don't really want to deal with. There are times when it's stuff we've subconsciously been dealing with so retrogrades can become extremely enlightening as well. This was the case this past Mercury retrograde which had many of us thrown through the ringer--odd because personally I feel I do much better when it's retrograde. My natal Mercury is retrograde so I typically find myself feeling very much at home during this time--not this go around. Spirit had some messages for me that couldn't wait. I'm glad they didn't.


Mercury has since turned direct but we have two other planets, Saturn and Pluto, who are now both retrograde. Saturn will be retrograde from the 18th of April 2018 until the 6th of September 2018 while Pluto will be from the 23rd of April 2018 until the 1st of October. While Mercury is more well-known during it's retrograde (issues with communication, technology, travel, contracts, etc.), these two might not be. They're more subtle and slower than the fast-moving Mercury but perhaps much more profound for it. You see, Saturn retrograde will have us exploring our personal rules and boundaries, examining what is keeping us from fulfilling our goals and being successful. This may turn to past projects (*past healing*). All in all, it's a delicious journey of self-awareness. Pluto retrograde is about delving into your shadow so that you may heal and transform. Personally I have found most shadow issues stem from the past so *past healing*. We're learning more about who we are and how to stand firm in our beliefs and our own power. Beautiful.

In order to fully heal and grow, we must confront those murky places we usually forbid ourselves from venturing, places created from past experiences. They may stem from past life issues that we have brought with us to learn from or they may come from this life's past. Either way, grab your T.A.R.D.I.S. and go back to the past. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.) I have found in a couple of the self-help books I have read that when you decide on a change in your life, the Universe will send similar situations and circumstances so that you can choose to respond differently. You can reiterate your desire to change by choosing the action that will align you with your goal. While I fully believe that, having failed miserably as I didn't realize this at the time, in the moment, I feel there are also situations where you must actually embrace the past, the old, to fully appreciate the lesson and learn from it. Instead of scratching the surface and being entirely closed off, there may be times when you will find it more enlightening and beneficial to open yourself to the experience and delve deeper into it. Now, please bare in mind that I don't mean if you had bad past experiences with things harmful, illegal, or toxic to yourself then you should redo it. NO! Please, please, no! I will never, in any circumstance, advocate for someone to return to past drug use, alcoholism, or any sort of illegal activity.

Let me give you a brief example of what I mean by returning. During Mercury Retrograde, I found myself having Jesus pop up a lot. Now, I never was a very religious person prior to finding Judaism and then Wicca so while I celebrated Christmas and Easter, Jesus Himself was practically non-existent. Christmas meant a visit from Santa and Easter, the Easter Bunny. Therefore, I have never had any quarrels with Jesus and honestly, I never had any issues with church or Christianity. As I grew older, and dealt more with people, I realized that there are many Christians who are very un-Christ like and yet, there are also those who are the epitome of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Jesus taught love and I think that's something the church really needs to return to. As I'm not about to go off on a rant, let me switch tracks and return to my original purpose. As I stated, I had no quarrels with any of it originally--I just lacked connection. I do have issue with God but Jesus...not really.


Suddenly, I couldn't get Him out of my mind. I started having these irrational fears cropping up, making me panicked and terrified. I started having a religious crisis and so I began looking at Jesus from all different points of view. I mediated on Him, what He meant to me, and how did I view Him? After all, I don't worship the Abrahamic God so how then could I have a relationship with the Son? Instead of shrugging it all off, I allowed myself to get lost in it. Finally I realized that to me, He is more of an ascended master and if I must think of Him as more, then just another version of the Child God. He is truly about love. What I soon became aware of was external pressure and issues from family who believed I need saving and must turn to Jesus. Though no one has said anything about it recently (my pawpaw is constantly trying to get me saved), I could feel that nasty, icky energy when I stopped and felt around me. My past childhood of traditional values, Christianity, and limited information, had brought about subconscious fears that I wasn't aware of until they started wrecking havoc on my life. So, I was able to purge those energies, have a new understanding and respect for Jesus, and have clarity on my own beliefs, especially when it comes to religion. It had allowed me to delve into one of my Shadows so I could finally release it and move on.

Sometimes we need that good ol' butt kicking. We had a New Moon in Aries on the 15th which seemed to light a spark underneath many people, leaving them ready to take on new projects, new goals, and new commitments. I know I was growing restless while Mercury was retrograde as I started having some good ideas come to mind but I don't like to start new things so I waited. Needless to say, once Mercury went direct and the new moon came, I was off! And a lot of that was about self-improvement. Now we have a Full Moon in Scorpio this sunday, the 29th of April 2018. What a perfect time to delve in, purge old energies, old shadows, and instead rise up like the phoenix. Scorpio likes to get into those darker places and the full moon is good for helping illuminate those spots, particularly when they deal with the subconscious which most shadows do.


This major shift in energy may leave you feeling off and that may be because while you are prepared/preparing to move forward and leave the past where it belongs--in the past--the energies surrounding you may not be quite so supportive. This is where de-cluttering comes in. Moving our physical environment around stirs up that stagnant energy and helps things get flowing again. It also allows us to remove physical reminders so we can instead fill our space with fresh things that support us. That helps align us. De-cluttering isn't simply something physical but also may be emotional. Journaling is a great way to dump those old feelings so you can finally have that good cry, that good venting, so that you may move on. I personally like to either throw the journal away or burn it thereby banishing those feelings. I felt them, I experienced them, and they no longer serve me. Returning to the physical environment, most of us spring-cleaned around Ostara but there may have been things we weren't ready to let go of just yet. Considering Beltane is the 1st of May (Tuesday!), and it's a time when Gaia and nature is flourishing, let's allow ourselves the same energy and to do that means letting go beforehand.

Go room by room and take a honest and hard look at your belongings, the layout (you may find yourself moving furniture around) and what you want to get out of every room. *Just a quick side-note: This is just one level of healing. As I said, Saturn and Pluto retrogrades are going to have much to teach us so don't be surprised if you find yourself returning to this and doing it all over again when they go direct!* If there's anything you really aren't sure about, don't just chuck it in the recycle bin but put it in a box. Put all the stuff you're unsure about in a box, tape it shut, and label it. Come back to it around Sept./Oct. (or Samhain) and if you find that you no longer have need of it, chuck it. Be honest with yourself. It might be your favorite necklace but if it's something an ex-boyfriend gave you so every time you wear it you end up thinking of him and it aches your heart, get rid of it. Replace it with a new necklace you absolutely love and that you bought yourself. We tend to have a bad habit of wanting to keep mementos because we want to cherish those memories but if they are only going to leave us in the dumps, why do that to yourself?


For example: I have a box full of stuff I accrued while in college because I wanted to remember the good times. I didn't get to graduate, and had to leave my dream school I'd worked my ass off to get into it, due to medical issues. Then due to financial issues, I haven't been able to return. My friends have all graduated and left so whenever I see those little treasures, I end up spiraling into this feeling of melancholy, regret, anger, and frustration. That wasn't the point of those mementos. Instead of fondly reflecting on the past, I had begun dwelling. It took a really honest and open look for me to see that so while it was with a very heavy heart, I had to get rid of them. For my own good.

The truth is that healing isn't easy. It's messy and painful but it's also beautiful. It allows us to understand ourselves better so when we encounter others going through the same issues, we are more compassionate and understanding. We can help others because we've already been through that nightmare. Retrogrades seem scary but really are for our benefit, if we use the energy wisely. If not, then it's a nightmare too. However, retrogrades are perfect for healing because it's about our inner world. It's about facing who we truly are so that we are able to shed any faces we may put on. We weren't put here to conform to some standard set by society but instead to be our most authentic selves for it is only through this authenticity that we can hope to heal society and the world as a whole. This shift in our inner world may lead to shifts in the outer as well with relationships ending or beginning, projects ended or beginning, and even detail-cleaning. Don't rush through de-cluttering but instead allow it to an immersive, therapeutic experience that works in harmony with this transformative energy. If you should find yourself reliving the past, remember not to dwell for too long. You aren't living in the past but the present with hopes for the future.


Message from Spirit: Platypus

When planets turn retrograde, we are forced to retreat within--a place not many dare venture. This shift in perspective leaves many of us feeling as if our world has been thrown into chaos and that we have no choice but bunker down and ride it out. This is nothing more than an illusion as we always have a choice. We can either waste the abundant energy present, grumble and complain about it all, making life far mroe difficult than it need be or we can use this to our advantage. We can undertake this delicious and sacred journey of self-discovery, carving a path towards self-awareness and self-empowerment. Yes, it will be challenging but the rewards are worth it. Remember, where we focus our attention will ultimately be the type of energy and experiences we have. So, My Dear Friends, which do you choose?

Brightest of Blessings,

The Autumn Witch

*Card is from the Messages of Your Animal Spirit Guides Oracle Deck by Steven D. Farmer*

**Important Note: I am not a counselor, therefore any information given above should not be taken as counseling advice. If you find yourself dealing with major life issues, please do seek out professional advice and help.**

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