9 of Swords Reversed
We've all been undergoing some major energetic shifts but with those shifts comes work, especially in regards to our fears and worries. When we refuse to shine a light on those dark parts, when we elect to pretend they don't exist, we end up struggling against our most challenging foe--ourselves. How many of us have been feeling this resistance lately? I know I have and I'll be the first to admit it.
We prefer continuance and don't really care for change which is precisely what's happening right now, even if we don't think so. We could be still doing the same things, practicing the same craft, and be spiritually the same person and yet we're also not. This is hard for me to explain...
So I began my path as a Wiccan about eight years ago but for a least five of them I would teeter between embracing my Pagan beliefs and returning to the faith that first brought me to exploring my spirituality. Why? Well, the latter was not only more socially acceptable (and as someone who just wanted to be accepted by others, that was important!) but also had been my rock during some of the hardest times of my life. I knew within my heart I didn't believe in it and yet I found comfort in the rituals and prayers.
I fully left that faith behind about three years ago when I actively affirmed to myself that I had to honor my Wiccan self since that was what I actually believed in but I still held immense respect for the other faith. So, I firmly believed it was done and over with...until the last week of July when I had a dream that highlighted exactly why I hadn't. It was a subconscious fear that I hadn't even been aware of and until I released that fear, I couldn't actually fully release it. I still actively had chosen Wicca but a part of myself was refusing to release the past.
With this shift comes the knowledge that I can't continue forward so long as I continue with this limiting belief. I've been solely Wiccan for the past three years so at first it didn't feel like anything was different or really happening...until I came across these deeply hidden fears and worries. Now that I am aware of them, I can see where I need to start. I can still practice my Craft but until I fully release this old baggage, I'm not fully living my truth, am I?
This is the change we're being called to right now. It's a deep and profound healing and shift that isn't easy but will have extraordinary results if we're willing to do the work. There's an internal struggle that doesn't have to continue but you must be willing to face it for what it is.
*Card is from the Lo Scarabeo Universal Tarot deck*
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