If you asked me a few years ago how I felt about Valentine's Day, I would've balked and gone into a whole tirade against a consumerist and absurd holiday that forced feelings of isolation and otherness onto those who didn't have significant others. Though, I suppose, that could sum up other holidays that I love yet am oblivious to the sense of loneliness as I've always been a part of them--like Christmas...Anyways, it's very clear that I definitely held some disdain and contempt which most definitely stemmed from never having been in a relationship for the holiday. I came close one time but we ended up splitting like the week before. That may have only added fuel to my hate.
However, as I caught myself in the midst of a full on rant a couple of years ago, I stopped and got real with myself. Was being alone what bothered me? No! I actually quite prefer it since I have a very strong need for freedom. That doesn't mean to say I wouldn't enjoy having someone in my life but it's not necessary as it's not something I feel I'm missing. It's one of those "if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it don't.". I then decided that it didn't matter whether I had someone or not. I could spend the time loving myself and others. It didn't have to be romantic at all. Or it could....I'm not judging lol.
I have since found that I no longer harbor rage towards Valentine's Day and have even begun healing some deep rooted issues I have around love and past relationships. If you're single, like I am, I wanted to share some suggestions on ways you can still celebrate today without a significant other. Some of my suggestions may be common while others out-of-the-box. These are in no particular order, by the way.
1. Surround Yourself With Loving Energy
This could include doing a meditation geared towards either love, positivity, joy, or specifically for the heart chakra. I say positivity and joy as they help center me in my heart space and I get a similar vibration to love. This may be easier for those who do have a hard time with anything "love-related".
Light some pink, red, and green candles, bring in some loving crystals (listed below), and call upon a Goddess of Love (listed below) to envelope and fill you with Her loving essence.
2. Be Your Own Valentine
We see our friends receiving wine, chocolates, flowers, etc.. and may feel a tinge of longing. Why? We don't have to have anyone gift them! Yes, we can buy our own. Buy a box of chocolates, a delicious wine, and either cook or order your favorite meal. Candlelight is optional.
If you cannot drink, regardless of reason, at least allow yourself to splurge on yourself. This can be a special, and much needed, treat if you don't typically let yourself spend frivolously. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. I actually bought myself a beautiful painting this morning (you can see it on my Instagram) and guess what? It was only $10. Treating yourself DOES NOT mean you must empty your bank account.
3. Focus On Love In All Forms
While today is traditionally associated with romantic love, why not instead spend today focusing and celebrating love in all its forms? Friendships and Familial relationships are just as important and frankly, how many times do we tell them just how much they mean to us? It could be a quick text message, just wishing them a Happy Valentine's Day and thanking them for all that they do. It could be baking cookies or cupcakes and handing them out. I quite like the idea of writing down one-three things you appreciate about them and wrap it up with the treat to give.
In high school, we would get all of our friends a cheap box of chocolate and Valentine's Card (like the one Elementary school kids give) and even though we all did it, it still demonstrated how much we loved and cared for one another.
4. Utilize Your Crystals
Crystals can either be charged and carried with you or you could use them to make a crystal grid to meditate with or even a gem elixir to drink. Word of caution though: There are loads of crystals that cannot be mixed with water so 1) do your research and 2) if you have any doubts, use the indirect method of creating the elixir. To do the indirect method is placing a bowl inside a bowl of water, ensuring no water will come into contact with the stone and charging it like that. You still get the energy of the crystal. You could also make a circle of crystals and place your glass of water in the middle for it to charge. Intention and Visualization is important here.
What crystals would be appropriate?
Rose Quartz and Green Aventurine are my favorite go-to's as they are both associated with the heart chakra (which is traditionally green). Rose Quartz, as many know, is the quintessential stone of love.
Other good stones would be: Rhodonite (love), Desert Rose (love), Emerald (love), Ruby (passion/sexuality), Carnelian (passion/sexuality), Garnet (passion/sexuality) and even Lepidolite (Emotional Balance).**Not a complete list**
5. Work with Deities of Love
Offer some musky or floral scent to a Deity associated with Love, asking to be filled with Their loving essence, to help heal your heart chakra, to deepen your own self-love, or even to petition for your preferred sort of partner. DO NOT petition for a specific person!!
**As I always state, this list is not complete as I implore you to do your own research as well**
Eros/Cupid--Be warned that They aren't the cute and innocent cherub you see on cards. They are associated with Lust, Desire, and Passion. I include Them simply to remind you of the importance of researching exactly what a God is associated with as many people may automatically think of Cupid.
Aphrodite/Venus--The Greek/Roman Goddess of Love, Beauty, Pleasure, and Procreation.
Hathor--The Egyptian Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Fertility.
Freya (Freyja)--The Norse Goddess of Love, Sex, Lust, Beauty, Fertility, Sorcery, Gold, War, and Death. It's interesting to note how these Deities also have connections to Death, such as Freyja and Hathor.
Pavarti--The Hindu Goddess of Love, Beauty, Marriage, Fertility, Children, Devotion, Divine Strength and Power.
Branwen--The Celtic Goddess of Love and Beauty.
If you want to celebrate Familial Love, like that of mother and child, you could invoke Goddess associated with children, home, and hearth such as Hera, Juno, and Frigga.
6. Pamper Yourself
You could treat yourself to either a day at the spa or pamper yourself at home. Take either a long hot shower or a sensual bubble bath. Light candles (safely) and turn the lights out. Exfoliate. Moisturize. Use a face mask. Paint your finger and toe nails in a shade you LOVE. Indulge in your favorite dessert without guilt. It doesn't have to be anything grande or expensive, as I've stated before. Simply allow yourself some TLC time.
7. Partake of Activities You Enjoy
When was the last time you made time to paint, sing, dance, write, or even play video games? What makes your heart sing but you just can't find the time to do it regularly? Spend time doing that! If all you really can afford is an hour, why not spend that time enjoying yourself? Having fun? All the better if it makes you laugh and smile! Get your body moving. Yoga, walking, running, whatever!
8. Speaking of Body...
Don't forget how important self-love can be...literally....;)
9. Spread The Love
I noticed this morning that I was in such a great mood that I couldn't help but spread it! Smiling as I passed by strangers, letting people out in traffic, offering to help someone...these are such simple activities that cause a ripple effect. I can't tell you how many people I've had respond differently once I offered a simple smile as I passed by. The world is madness right now so let's show one another some love, anyway that we can.
You can pay for someone's coffee behind you, volunteer, pick up trash...whatever you feel inspired to do.
10. Spend Time With Your Heart Chakra
If nothing else, spend some time meditating on what love means to you and working with your heart chakra. See what shadows linger and what you need to do to clear them. Listen to some meditational music geared towards clearing and balancing the heart chakra. Journal. Cry. Laugh. Use crystals and incense. Call on the Goddess. This could become a whole ritual if you want but it is something that takes time. This won't be a once and done, however it's a start.
Obviously you don't have to be a witch to benefit from this list but there are definitely some suggestions that I don't believe will make it into the mainstream media. The truth is that love is one of the most powerful and highest vibrations in the Universe so I feel that whenever we reject or shy away from love, we actually distance ourselves away from Source, from Spirit, from the Divine. Everything is connected. Make Valentine's Day something more sacred and important than just another over commercialized holiday. Allow it to be a spiritual experience. Give yourself permission to love yourself. Give yourself permission to embrace love in all forms as it isn't restricted to solely romantic. Self-Love, Familial, Philia (Platonic)...it's all beautiful and deserving to be celebrated.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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